Bowfinger (1999)

IMDB

It took three viewings for me to love this movie, and now it's one of my favorites. If you watch this and find any part of it enjoyable but you're not sure about it, please, watch it again. And then one more time. I know I'm asking a lot. There are so many things out there you could be spending your time on, and I just requested that you spend six hours on one movie, but it is so worth it.


Robert K. Bowfinger (Steve Martin) is an aging, washed up actor/director who is trying one last time for success. He convinces several others to join his cause through various means. Some only agree to go along with the plan because Bowfinger promises the support of a big-time producer (Robert Downey Jr.), who agrees to green-light the picture if Kitt Ramsey (Eddie Murphy), biggest action star on the planet, is the lead actor.


Kitt Ramsey is an interesting fella. Here he is with his agent:

As you can see, Kitt is a bit paranoid. He has a lot of fears and seeks help from the organization Mind Head (a parody of something that rhymes with Shmientology). It doesn't help that Kitt rejects Bowfinger's offer to star in the movie, but Bowfinger decides to go ahead with filming Kitt in the movie anyway, and the movie is about an alien invasion. Kitt's paranoia and ignorance lead to some of the funniest scenes in the movie. Here's one (warning: some swearing):

There are so many great moments and quotes and people in this movie. You will give it a chance or three, won't you?




Music


Juliette and the Licks - Hot Kiss

   genre: slightly insane rock
   ideal for: running around town and kicking things because you feel like it
  Youtube


Squirrel Nut Zippers - Ghost of Stephen Foster

   genre: high-energy, old-timey jazz
   ideal for: jauntily meeting dead songwriters in hotels
  Youtube

Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 (2004)

If you spent a good portion of your childhood wishing you had your own amusement park, this is probably as close as your going to get. That is, of course, unless Atari does make the fourth installment they've been hinting at.


I'm a big fan of customization, and there's plenty of opportunities to customize here. From the start, you get to decide how you want to play. Do you just want to build roller coasters? Fine, go ahead.

Wanna focus you time on the guests in your park? Feel free.

Have you got hours and hours to waste on creating the perfect amusement park in Sandbox Mode (no money restrictions)? Then prepare to dedicate the next several weeks to one thing, buddy.

The Roller Coaster Tycoon games have been the only things in my life that made me think business might be fun. I'm not dumb enough to believe it, though. If you were offended by that last sentence, of course I'm kidding, silly!


You can get the original game for four dollars on Amazon. If you want the two expansion packs Soaked! (water parks) and Wild! (animals, dinosaurs, safari-type dealies), they are available in an all-in-one bundle for $12.25, also on Amazon.


And trust me, you want Soaked! You want to be able to enter that game world, because no real water park could ever be as cool as some of the ones you can find on Youtube. Like this one:

I'm a little sad now.




Music


Freaks - The Creeps

   genre: aggressive dance
   ideal for: wigglin' in a most determined manner
  Youtube


David Guetta feat. Chris Brown - I Can Only Imagine

   genre: part dance, part hip-hop, and part ballad
   ideal for: spending an ADD night at the club
  Youtube

Elantris (2005)

Brandon Sanderson is pretty famous now. He took over the Wheel of Time series when Robert Jordan died, and made some waves with his own Mistborn trilogy (with a standalone sequel coming out next month). Now he's working on the second novel of The Stormlight Archive and he should hurry that up because I made the mistake of reading the first one (The Way of Kings) just after it came out and I have been waiting forever.


*ahem*


But it all started with Elantris. Or, at least, this was Sanderson's first widely released novel. It's good, too. Sanderson says he plans to write a sequel to it, but so far there's been no official announcement or anything. 


Here's the prologue that appears on the back cover of Elantris, pulled from Sanderson's website:

"Elantris was beautiful, once. It was called the city of the gods: a place of power, radiance, and magic. Visitors say that the very stones glowed with an inner light, and that the city contained wondrous arcane marvels. At night, Elantris shone like a great silvery fire, visible even from a great distance.

Yet, as magnificent as Elantris was, its inhabitants were more so. Their hair a brilliant white, their skin an almost metallic silver, the Elantrians seemed to shine like the city itself. Legends claim that they were immortal, or at least nearly so. Their bodies healed quickly, and they were blessed with great strength, insight, and speed. They could perform magics with a bare wave of the hand; men visited Elantris from all across Opelon to receive Elantrian healings, food, or wisdom. They were divinities.

And anyone could become one.

The Shaod, it was called. The Transformation. It struck randomly—usually at night, during the mysterious hours when life slowed to rest. The Shaod could take beggar, crafts­man, nobleman, or warrior. When it came, the fortunate person's life ended and began anew; he would discard his old, mundane existence, and move to Elantris. Elantris, where he could live in bliss, rule in wisdom, and be worshipped for eternity.

Eternity ended ten years ago."

Intriguing, right? Go read it, if you haven't already.




Music


E.S. Posthumus - Unstoppable

   genre: bad-a** orchestral rock
   ideal for: galloping across the wasteland in search of vengeance
  Youtube


Clint Mansell - The Last Man (from The Fountain)

   genre: slow, sad orchestral
   ideal for: plodding home from the aforementioned vengeance-quest, mourning those you've lost
  Youtube

Heart and Souls (1993)

IMDB

Four people die in a bus crash the same night Thomas Reilly (Robert Downey Jr.) is born, and they find themselves inexplicably tied to the kid. Only Thomas can see them, and they can only stray a few feet from his body. Without any explanation as to what they're supposed to do, the four just chill and focus all their attention on the sweet little boy.


That is, until they realize that having four very restless and talkative imaginary friends can lead to some problems:

 Everyone thinks that Thomas needs psychiatric help, and so, to give the boy a normal life, the four ghosts make it so that Thomas can no longer hear or see him. The scene where they say goodbye to the boy gets me every time. That kid can cry like nobody's business.


Years and years later, Thomas is all grown up and a bit of a jerk. The bus driver who got the four people killed shows up and tells them it's time to go to the afterlife. Understandably, they wonder why he hasn't shown up before. The bus driver explains that they were supposed to have tied up the loose ends to their previous lives with Thomas's help. Because they didn't do that, the ghosts beg for more time. They are granted it, and now must resolve their mortal grievances as quickly as possible.


Getting Thomas's help is fairly difficult. It takes some extreme persuasion to get him to agree. The ghosts were just told they can take over Thomas's body. Julia went first, now it's Milo's turn:

Thomas reluctantly agrees. The rest of the movie is focused on righting past wrongs, letting go of regret, and not allowing good opportunities to pass you by. I laughed, I cried, I wished I had four good people following me everywhere to sing with me in the bathroom (but then I thought about it more, and I took back that last part).

Music

fun. - All the Pretty Girls

(thanks again, Mark)

   genre: cheerful indie pop

   ideal for: a montage of friends out on the town

  Youtube

Hellogoodbye - Finding Something to Do

   genre: bright, joyful love song

   ideal for: scampering through a spring meadow with your soul-mate

  Youtube

Battle Realms (2001)

Quick! It's a Saturday afternoon, and you must choose between doing your homework and building an army of Dragon warriors to defeat that nasty Lotus clan. What do you do? The answer is obvious!


There are a few games that I keep going back to. This is one of them. Released ten years ago, Battle Realms is a real-time strategy game that never gets old. You can play one of two modes: story or skirmish. I almost always play skirmish because you get to decide the number of players, what teams they are on, where you battle, and how easy it will be.

The Wolf clan protect their base from the invading Lotus

I have wasted many an hour switching between the four clans--Dragon, Serpent, Lotus, and Wolf--and varying my battle strategies. Do I send out small raiding parties to keep my enemies weak? Or do I focus on defense while I amass the largest possible fighting force, then crush all that dare oppose me in the final five minutes? Both can be pretty fun.


Battle Realms is different from other strategy games in that your peasants are the key to everything.

They're very nonchalant about it, too.

Like in similar games, peasants gather resources so that you can build and train and then construct your buildings, but here they are also the troops you train into Samurai or Unclean or Ballistamen or what-have-you.


Seriously, this is a really fun game, and a round of battle can take as short or as long as you wish. There's a trailer here, and the demo of the game can be found here.




Music


Fort Minor - Petrified

   genre: "Oh, snap!" hip-hop
   ideal for: shaking your head and smirking at those posers
  Youtube


DaCaV5 - Tetris

   genre: "Some people call it hip-hop, trance, dance, rock, and pop. It don't matter, it's hot."
   ideal for: schooling your friends in old video games
  Youtube

Clone High (2002-2003)

IMDB

This show only lasted thirteen episodes, but we've talked about this before. Almost all of the shows I love die young. There are lots of rumors why Clone High was canceled: MTV was sued over the portrayal of Gandhi, MTV just sucks, etc. The only certain thing is that this show is hilarious, if a little crude.

The premise is that the government cloned a bunch of famous people, and now those people are all in high school. Clone High makes no attempt to be believable in the science department; there are clones running around of people whose DNA we do not have. Joan of Arc and Jesus, for example.

The three main clones are Abe Lincoln, Joan of Arc, and Gandhi. They all appear in this clip from the first episode:

Season 1, Episode 1

Most of the characters are a joy to watch, and at least three of them are voiced by actors who were also on Scrubs, if that means anything to you.


This clip is from the Very Special episode (they're all Very Special episodes) about how those with ADD still deserve to live a normal life, and it features Joan of Arc's blind foster grandfather, Principal Scudworth, and JFK's foster dads:

Season 1 Episode 3

If you missed this show when it was still alive, check it out! Now that it's been dead for eight years and there's no hope for a resolution!


Today's music selection:


D-Pryde - Mr. Prizzy

   genre: fast-talkin' goofy rap
   ideal for: when you need a quick and clean injection of swag     
  Youtube
  Download his albums for free (and legally) here and here.


Teddybears - Devil's Music

   genre: rock and hip-hop's dancing baby
   ideal for: when you're afraid you might be paralyzed and will never dance again (you will know for sure after listening to this)
  Youtube

Some Like it Hot (1959)

IMDB

When musicians Joe and Jerry (Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon) accidentally witness what bears a striking resemblance to the Valentine's Day Massacre (coincidence? No, of course not), they have to get out of town fast and without being recognized. An opportunity presents itself, and they take it, and briefly change genders to join a travelling all-girl band. One of the men definitely pulls it off better than the other.

Near the end of that clip, we meet Sugar Kane (Marilyn Monroe), whom neither man can resist. Both attempt to woo her in their own way. They aren't the only ones attempting at seduction, either. While in their female disguises, both men find out just what it can mean to be a woman. Here's Jerry's suitor, Osgood Fielding III, played by the hilarious Joe E. Brown:

Men in dresses, Marilyn Monroe, music, and mobsters. What's not to like?


Since today's movie is all old and stuff, here's some suitable music to go with it or whatever.


Frank Sinatra - Goody Goody

   genre: vengeful swing
   ideal for: mocking your ex like a (mob) boss. haha I make joke.
  Youtube


Maureen McGovern - Embraceable You

   genre: classic Broadway sung by a master
   ideal for: a romantic candlelit dinner, complete with crooning stranger on a nearby grand piano
  Sorry guys, this one's not on Youtube, but the whole album, which is fantastic, is available on Amazon and iTunes.

A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999)

IMDB

Shakespeare's play is set in the late nineteenth century for this movie. There's bicycles, parasols, and fox hunting. The text and character names are unchanged, however, which puts the film in a fantasy setting even before the fairies get there.


Brief plot synopsis: an eloping couple and two other dysfunctional people run around the woods at night and get noticed by the fairy king who sends his servant to help them but craziness ensues; a group of commoners put together a terrible (but hilarious) rendition of Pyramus and Thisbe; the fairy king and queen fight childishly; all is resolved.


There's a long list of good actors here: Kevin Kline, Michelle Pfeiffer, Rupert Everett, Stanley Tucci, and Christian Bale are the biggest names, but everybody else is good too. And hey, that's Sam Rockwell!

There is a heavy emphasis on sensuality in this movie. Not just in the sense of, "Let's all be sexy now," although there certainly is that, but the movie also takes the time to enrich the cinematography, costuming, and score so that our eyes and ears can truly feast. I quite appreciate that. Also, the fairies are covered in glitter, and you know I likes me some glitter.


This next clip features two of the four lovers in the play. Helena continues to chase after Demetrius for reasons she should probably see a therapist about, but some of what she says at the end really speaks to me, as she puts into words what I've always thought whenever I fail to run down a man with a bicycle.

This movie is weird. To me, though, it's a good weird, and its mashup of old and new (or I suppose, old and less-old) inspired the music samples for today. Enjoy.


Nuttin' But Stringz - Broken Sorrow

   genre: cinematic score meets hip-hop
   ideal for: imagining a medieval fantasy, but with gangstas
  Youtube


Black Violin - Dirty Orchestra

   genre: classical with a bounce
   ideal for: flavoring your next recital with some unexpected spice
  Youtube

Introducing: Music!

After spending a ridiculous amount of time researching this, I've finally figured out how to add music the way I wanted to. After every post from now on, I'll include thirty seconds of two songs that you can listen to at your leisure. Today you get a bonus song because I didn't have time to write a real post. Hurray!


I'm only including thirty seconds because I'm hoping that anyone concerned with copyright will see this as free advertising and not illegal sharing.


There will also be a link to Youtube where you can listen to the entire song.


To kick it all off, I give you:


The Dirty Heads - Lay Me Down

(thanks to Mark for this one)
   genre: reggae rap ballad
   ideal for: relaxing on the beach and thinking about Bonnie and Clyde
  Youtube

Kat Deluna - Drop it Low

   genre: moderately Hispanic dance
   ideal for: shakin' it like it ain't no thang
  Youtube


Bonus!
Steriogram - Walkie Talkie Man

   genre: hyperactive punk rock
   ideal for: playful hooligan-isms in New Zealand
  Youtube

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

IMDB

Most people heard about this movie, but most of them didn't go see it. I know I didn't. I've never really gotten on board with Wes Anderson as a director (The Royal Tennenbaums, The Life Aquatic), but that may change in the future. I certainly enjoyed this well enough.


Our title character is a former thief who gave up his dangerous lifestyle to provide some security for his wife and newborn son. That doesn't mean he's settled down, however. Mr. Fox's restlessness is apparent early on, and finds different ways of expressing itself.

The animation is one of the major focuses of this movie. Stop motion has never been used a lot in making movies, but it's always fascinated me. That people are willing to invest so much time in crafting the characters, props, and sets for something, and then spend endless hours moving them one tiny fraction at a time? Crazy. Plus, I always loved miniatures and doll houses as a kid (not the dolls, just their houses and the stuff in them), which makes this clip awesome to me:

Mr. Fox eventually decides that one more heist will settle him for good. This decision brings unexpected twists and consequences, but why should I explain them here? Go watch the movie.

Game of Thrones (1996)

Who hasn't heard of Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin's first novel in the A Song of Ice and Fire series? Not many, but I still need to talk about this series because I am reading it right now and I have to talk about it somewhere. Now let's see whether you should read it, if you haven't already.

I can't recommend these books to everyone. You shouldn't read them if (1) You do not watch rated R movies as these books contain enough violence, language, and sex to firmly plant it in R territory, or (2) You cannot abide to see your favorite characters suffer, because everyone suffers in these books, and some of them die, often in horrible ways.


The series so far are five epic fantasy novels focusing on the struggle for power. There are three main storylines: war for the kingdom in the west, an exiled princess trying to regain her throne in the east, and zombies. The zombies are my favorite part.


I'm not going to insert portions of the books in here because nothing can really work as a teaser trailer for a series of epic novels. HBO made a television series based on the novels, however, so here's the teaser trailer for that. WARNING: if you aren't a fan of naked strangers, do not watch this show. I haven't even seen it and I can tell you that. The trailer's fine, though, unless you're offended by whispering.

You can read the first pages of Game of Thrones here.