Cool Runnings (1993)

IMDB

This movie is inspired by the Jamaican bobsled team that competed in the 1988 Winter Olympic Games, and I mean "inspired". As long as you understand that this movie is much more fiction than non-fiction--the Jamaican bobsled team in particular, and Jamaican culture in general--you should be able to enjoy yourself.

The plot is sparked off when our protagonist, Derice, fails to make the Jamaican track team for the Summer Olympics (through no fault of his own), but is still determined to get to the Olympics somehow, so he starts trying to recruit people for a bobsled team. His best friend, Sanka, is the first target of Derice's persuasiveness:

Next comes the coach, played by the great John Candy. He helps Derice and Sanka find two more members for the team (who made their first appearances at the track and field tryouts) and trains them for the few months they have until the Olympics. The timing here might be confusing you. Younger readers might not know that both the Winter and the Summer Olympics were held in the same year up through 1992. After that, they started staggering them every two years.

This movie is funny and inspiring in a very '90s Disney way. However, at least for me, it never crosses the line into bad over-the-top territory. Sure, yeah, the four Jamaicans (not to mention the Germans) might be exaggerations that speak in stereotyped accents, but despite that, they still come off as genuine, likable people (except the Germans).

Also, I think it's the only Disney movie to contain the words "two-dollar hooker."

The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

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Swashbuckling fun.


Those are the two words that come to mind when I think about this movie. Not "gritty" or "realistic" or "dark," though those words certainly have their place in the spectrum of awesome. When I think about Robin Hood, however, I tend to want something like this movie, rather than Ridley Scott's recent film (although the original concept for it sounded fantastic).


Sometimes I just want to see swords go *click click* when they hit each other, and I want people to die instantaneously and without bleeding when they get stabbed in the stomach. And I especially want to see the dashing hero swagger all over the douchey villain.

The Crimson Pirate is good for that too. Just replace the clicking swords with explosions.


Robin's band of Merry Men make for more good viewing. Robin Hood's first meeting with Little John is one of my favorite scenes:

And it inspired the best part of Robin Hood: Men in Tights:

There you have it. Two hours of escapist fun. You won't regret it! I hope.


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Terry Pratchett

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     "In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded."

If you aren't already a fan of Terry Pratchett, there is still time to fix this. Also, you're probably not English. If you see that as a problem, I suppose there's still time to fix that too.

Pratchett's work is great for people who like comedy. There's plenty of fantasy too, but if fantasy isn't normally your thing, don't worry about it. In fact, Pratchett spoofs the archetypes of fantasy often enough, maybe his books are perfect for you.

     “You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs.”

Most of Pratchett's books take place in the Discworld universe. If you like to see familiar characters popping up here and there, then I'd recommend reading several of those. I think it was Brandon Sanderson on the podcast Writing Excuses who said something like (no, I'm not going through the back catalog to find the exact quote), "Douglas Adams makes me laugh, but Terry Pratchett makes me care."

In other words, a lot of the appeal for these books comes from Pratchett's ability to write likable characters who you become invested in. You might not like every character, but there's a lot of them, so I'm sure you'll find somebody.

My favorite Pratchett novel so far is Going Postal. I'm not necessarily suggesting you start reading from there, because what if you think that's the best one too? Everything would be downhill from there. Read at your own risk, I guess.

And please remember:

    “If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.” 

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Biography and works here

We find ourselves once again in an era that often values sarcasm and wit above sincerity. Oscar Wilde is perfect for such a time. Although you catch flashes of true feeling now and again, and there is always a current of morality running underneath his works, on the surface shines a cleverness that turns from playful to caustic then back again.


Wilde's wit can range from teasing,
     "I am not young enough to know everything."


To cutting,
     "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. "


To downright thoughtful.
     "A man who does not think for himself does not think at all."


The man is now known mostly for his novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and his play "The Importance of Being Earnest". Those are great and you should read them if you haven't already, but if you need some lighter fair I'd recommend going with the play. His charming short story "The Canterville Ghost" is one of my favorites, and a lot of his poems are pretty good too.


Wilde also wrote some short stories for his sons that I go back and re-read from time to time. They are poetic fairy tales that I plan to share with my children once they exist and are old enough to appreciate them.


If there's one thing I want you guys to learn from this--


    "Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."


That's right. I guess I can't teach you to love Wilde's writing; you've got to feel it. So get out there and feel something!


On second thought, that might not have been what he meant.

Oscar (1991)

IMDB

Sylvester Stallone plays a reformed mobster in this comedy. That sentence might not surprise you, but the great timing and adeptness with which Stallone plays Angelo "Snaps" Provolone certainly surprised me.

It's hard to decide if I like the script or the actors better. On the one hand, the dialog is great, and the plot takes numerous twists and turns yet somehow manages to tie up all the loose ends. On the other hand, this movie has great performances by Tim Curry (The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Clue), Peter Riegert (the smart detective in The Mask), Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler, My Cousin Vinny), Kurtwood Smith (the dad in That '70s Show), and pretty much everyone else in the movie.


You know what, I'm going to declare it a tie.

This movie gets a pretty bad rap. I can't explain this, but I've never been able to explain why some of the best movies are ignored or lambasted while other terrible movies smash the box office. That's one of the reasons I started this blog. Also, I need more people to know that when I say "She seems to have such nicely rounded diphthongs" that it's hilarious.

Cat's Don't Dance (1997)

IMDB

Are you depressed? Has it been a while since you saw a cute movie about animals trying to make it in Hollywood? Have I got a pleasant surprise for you!


Cat's Don't Dance features Danny, and eager young feline who just wants to perform. Do you remember the beginning of the (what is it? A dream sequence? A really elaborate pitch?) in Singin' in the Rain, when Gene Kelly runs around Broadway proclaiming "Gotta dance!" to everyone he sees? That's Danny, and the comparison to Kelly isn't surprising, as he was a choreography consultant for the movie.


If you find any charm in musicals set in the 1930s and can at least tolerate an adorable variety of cast members, then check this movie out. The song-and-dance numbers are serviceable:

The characters are also quite entertaining. My favorites as a child were always the villains of the movie: Darla Dimple and her trusty servant Max. Miss Dimple is clearly a parody of Shirley Temple, and her propensity to fly into fits of rage meant she was always more endearing to me than Temple ever was.

Miss Dimple also sings my favorite song from the movie, but I guess you'd just have to watch it to see what I'm talking about.


The other characters are great, though. Don't get me wrong. Even the token "most adorable thing ever" character, Pudge the Penguin, is much less obnoxious than some of the others of his kind (I'm looking at you, every Barbie movie ever made). (Don't ask me why I know that.)


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The Producers (1968)

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No matter what you thought of the 2005 film version of the Broadway musical that was based off of this movie (if you saw it), you should see this movie. In my humble opinion, having to make room for several musical numbers meant that they cut all the best parts out. And nobody can beat the combo of Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel.

This movie was Mel Brooks’ first, and some (me) would say, his best. It’s cleaner, smarter, and better organized than most of his later works. With only a PG rating, it also makes for a good gateway into the director’s portfolio. If you think the humor in this a bit crude, stop here. If you didn’t notice anything amiss at all, perhaps you could work your way up to Blazing Saddles (1974), considered by many others to be Brook’s finest work.

The Producers is the story of Broadway producer has-been Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel) and timid accountant Leo Bloom (Gene Wilder). They start off on the wrong foot, but quickly become partners when Bloom accidentally gives Bialystock the idea of a lifetime: raise an obscene amount of money to put on a cheap play that is sure to fail. When the play doesn’t make any money, the investors won’t expect their money back and the newly-formed partnership can skip off to Rio to enjoy their ill-gotten gains.

Most of the movie is spent collecting all the elements needed for a sure-fire flop. Eventually the duo come up with the play “Springtime for Hitler,” written by a man who claims he is no longer a Nazi; an idiotic, flamboyant director; and an even dumber hippie actor named Lorenzo St. DuBois. Here is our introduction to the aforementioned playwright, Franz Liebkind:

With this combination, the plan is guaranteed to work, right? I’ll leave it to you to find out.

Community (2009- )

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This may seem like an odd choice to start off with. Community is a prime-time network show and most of the people I’ve asked have at least heard of it. But here’s my reasoning: the numbers are low, and I love this show.

A lot of programs will have a Halloween episode that breaks some of the usual rules of the show. This video clip might seem to be doing that, but I assure you, Community quite regularly flirts with the line between what is real and what is fantasy.

Season 2, episode 6, "Epidemiology"

Most of the shows I love die young. What do Arrested Development, Firefly, Invader Zim, and Police Squad all have in common? None of them made it past the third season. Heck, Police Squad only got six episodes. Community just debuted its third season, and I'm afraid for its life.

So here’s me, asking you to give this show a chance. I won’t ask you to stumble into the dark, however. Here’s what I think you should know:

The one-sentence summary on IMDB states, “A smarmy lawyer whose education is deemed void by the bar is forced to attend a local community college with an extremely eclectic staff and student body.”

I suppose this captures the gist of the plot, but I feel the need to emphasis the word “eclectic” and perhaps pair it with something like, I don’t know, “zany” or “quirky”. Possibly "insane". Here's a sample of Senor Chang:

Season 1, episode 2, "Spanish 101"

The show is full of fun moments that, if you’re anything like me, you’ll re-enact with the other cool people you know who watch Community. The dialogue is quick and clever, but only sometimes highbrow. This is Jeff focusing all his persuasive skills on Troy:

Season 1, episode 6, "Football, Feminism and You"

Community isn’t one of those mindless shows you can turn to fifteen minutes in and know everything that has happened previously and is going to happen next. It doesn’t play by the rules, but rather plays with them. Unfortunately, this demand for more than minimum attention may prove the show’s downfall.

Please give this show a chance. It deserves it a lot more than some of the others getting a lot more acclaim.